1 Day 1 World Project: 4-5 am – Sleepless in Camarillo

What happened this week between 4-5 am at my house? I was wide awake, my mind just wouldn’t shut up!

This week in the 1 Day 1 World Project hosted by Lisa at Northwest Frame of Mind I’m giving you a glimpse into my personal world between 4-5 am (you can find hours noon-4 am here).

Does anyone else wake in the early morning hours with a racing mind full of self-doubt and worries? Well, I did this morning… and I couldn’t get back to sleep for over an hour…

4-5 am frame

Why is it that the doubts pick my precious sleeping hours to crowd my mind? Argh…

  • I have too many bills… I shouldn’t have bought those clearance sandals and extra scarf last week, not to mention the second red cardigan, but really, one style is for pants and the other is for a skirt or dress and they ARE classic!
  • What if I can’t pay off all my debts before Tim retires? Will he still love me? I could get a job in Idaho when we move there, but then will I have to pay Idaho taxes as well as California ones? And is that a problem? And why did I take the tags off that second cardigan?
  • This operator job is really exhausting when I work full days. So maybe I should be happy with only a few half days… but then what if I don’t get enough hours so I don’t get enough money to pay all my debts, but then if I do get enough hours what if I continue to be exhausted and a total wreck…. and will they ever commit to how many hours I’m going to work a week so I can know if I’m going to be a wreck and plan for it?
  • I’m cooking tomorrow… what am I going to make? what if no one likes it? And what is it I’m supposed to get at the grocery store? And I have to remind Tim to leave his credit card for the food since I have less than $20 in my checking account…
  • I haven’t drawn in a while, I really should do it more… how am I going to get better if I don’t do it? I suck.
  • I planned to make some necklaces and should have started one days ago… I want new jewelry to wear with my new clothes… but, then again, if I’m only working a few half days a week I won’t get to wear very many cute outfits and my new clothes might go to waste! I mean I can hardly wear a red cardigan and (clearance) sandals in the barn in Idaho… blah…
  • I’m fat…

And of course the thoughts go around and around and around and repeat and repeat and repeat… and I notice every sound in the house like the dog licking himself (endlessly) and toilets flushing upstairs (how much did the boys drink last night?) and something rustling in the leaves outside when both cats are bugging me sleeping on me… 

Finally at about 5:30 I got back to sleep and was able to sleep in since I didn’t work today. And with the light of day I was able to put everything into perspective. I put the worries to rest, being proactive with what I had control over, and trusting that all will work out and life is good.

4-5 am 2

Oh, and we’re having Meghan’s World Famous Slow Cooker Beef Stew for dinner.

So, do you wake up in the wee hours with worries on your mind? And what do you panic worry about?

As always I am so pleased that you visited. Your comments warm my heart and put a smile in my day. :D Come back next week when I share what I did in my day between 5 and 6 am…  it’ll be a surprise for both of us!

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From Camarillo, CA

 Other bloggers’ 4-5 am HERE.

 

15 thoughts on “1 Day 1 World Project: 4-5 am – Sleepless in Camarillo

  1. Rebecca St Croix

    Wow!! That was a GREAT post! I can so relate and you put it down so well but also show how you let it go and keep moving! Bravo!!

  2. Meghan Post author

    I have a sound machine too! It is an app on my phone that also has a brain wave function that I can program for sleep. It does work wonderfully well! Which makes those few times when I can’t get back to sleep that much more irritating…

  3. Meghan Post author

    I know!!!! Especially when he’s starting to develop hot spots and I’m worried he’s making them worse… ugh.

  4. nharvey

    Forgot to mention… a white noise machine also helps to block out sounds from beyond the bedroom. I used to always be woken by trucks outside or other people in the house up earlier than me, but this has helped.

  5. Meghan Post author

    I think one of the reasons I stay awake longer than I need to when the worries start running round is I’m trying to figure out why they are there… why tonight when I haven’t worried for weeks… or why that issue when I thought I solved it days ago… So, I’m worrying, and then worrying about why I’m worrying… pretty funny when you think about it in the light of day! 😉

  6. Meghan Post author

    I’ve thought about reading at times like those, but my eyes reject the thought of having to open and do work when they are supposed to be resting. Maybe I’ll try it anyway…. my kindle is right beside the bed! I hope your daughter’s blindness problems resolve themselves in a positive way… that is scary! I say we send each other peaceful fairies in those wee hours of the morning to whisper each other to sleep.

  7. Meghan Post author

    That is wonderful that you sleep so well (I am talking to Genevieve and not Cupcake right? 😉 ) And it’s also terrific you can meditate back to sleep… I have had success with slow breathing myself back to sleep, but it doesn’t always work. Especially when all the animals decide they’re going to wake up while I’m trying to go back to sleep. 😀

  8. Meghan Post author

    Ah yes, those days of school taxi service! I remember them… and am happy they are no more 😉 . That sounds like a perfect recipe! I too take melatonin and read fiction I’ve read before. And it usually works like a charm… I think this new job just takes some getting used to and my system is adjusting. I slept much better last night. Here’s to happy mornings!

  9. nharvey

    I won’t even get into all the things that can get me worrying. But my recipe for good sleep these days is a cup of chamomile tea in the evening and/or some melatonin at bedtime, then reading a few pages of fiction before turning out the light. I try to read something I enjoy but have read before so I won’t get into “what happens next?” mode. Now that I’m back into school taxi service, getting up is the bigger problem for me.

  10. http://theenglishprofessoratlarge.com

    My hours vary. Sometimes it is 2 or 3 a.m. My mind reviews all the problems….money problems, my daughter’s recent blindness problems, house problems, computer problems. The list goes on. Usually, I try to shut it all down by reading until I fall back to sleep, and then wake up again in a couple of hours to rise and face it all. It seems that, lately, every day presents a new problem, varying in importance. Enough! Maybe we should all make a pact and email each other in those moments!

  11. NW Frame of Mind

    Ugh I do the same thing. 🙁 Sometimes it is as simple as worrying I won’t have enough time in the morning to do all the household things I need to finish before leaving for work, plus the usual bills, errands, money, personal issues. Anxieties time their attack for when we finally relax!

  12. Pingback: 1 Day 1 World Project: 4:00 am – 5:00 am | Northwest Frame of Mind

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